Hooked on Love Or Just Hooked?

Photo by Debra Moffitt
Photo by Debra Moffitt

In spending vacation time with friends, I’ve noticed one person has a very irritating tendency to want to hook into me. It’s an energetic hook that clamors for greater connection and attachment. The man tries to land it in my solar plexus and I consciously push it away.

It feels literally like a big, fat fish hook attempting to snag into my gut. It hurts and feels aggressive and annoying. My reaction: I close down and go away. But this is contrary to my nature. I like to be open and playful — not be on the defensive. I don’t like building walls for protection.

For many people this unconscious energetic “hook” is a way to try to get love and attention. Colleagues at work will try to hook in. So do family members, people in an audience (if you give a lecture) will try, and so do lovers (especially lovers). Even people you pass on the metro, sit near in a cafe, or workout with at the gym.may casually try to hook into you to get attention and snag your energy.

You give in when you give them your conscious energy and attention. When you allow someone to hook in energetically at this level, expect a roller coaster ride. They will tug at your energy, try to use it to control you, and you may feel drained and depleted while they will feel buoyed up and energized.

So what are the options?

I’ve known my friend, the “hooker” (mentioned above for a few years), I’ve noticed that after about the third day of spending time together, he decides it’s okay to send out the hooks. It’s probably an old energy pattern of his and a comfortable way for him to relate. But it hurts my gut! And though it’s likely unconscious on his part, I really want to say out loud, “Stop that right now!” And I probably will soon if he keeps it up — either that, or I’ll head home.

Unfortunately many people have unconscious habits of hooking into others energetically. The hooks bring attachment and an attempt to control others. Those nasty energy hooks also give the “hooker” a way to deplete the hooked person’s energy. Some people may simply hook in to get more attention attempt to boost self-esteem.

How do you know if someone is trying to hook in or has hooked you?

You may feel depleted. You may notice an irritation at the level of your solar plexus. You may have felt really good and then  the “hooker” approaches you feel annoyed or irritated.

What choices can we make?

1) Get away from the person. Take a break. Walk away. Move out of their energy field for awhile. If you can’t physically walk away, then imagine being surrounded in white light as a form of protection.

2) Keep physical contact to a minimum. Many “hookers” build their depleting energy connections through casual touch including hugs, cheek kissing, a touch to the shoulder or the hand. These seem innocuous, but actually contribute to the ability of the “hooker” to build energy chords to you that can sap your energy.

3) Get really grounded and stay in your own energy — and don’t let them hook in and be conscious of your own demands on the energy of others.. Sometimes the attempt to hook in may feel like a struggle as the individual may push very intently to have their way, to force it. It’s an attempt to gain the upper hand. Take a deep breath and stay in your own energy and power. Stay at the highest energetic frequency by focusing on white energy or white light.

4) Draw attention to it. Make the unconscious energy patterns conscious. Very often when someone who is sensitive and aware confronts the “hooker”, we’re confronted with denial. The “hooker” is unaware of his or her energy patterns and acts unconsciously. But, sometimes, if the individual is open, it’s possible to try. Don’t expect them to change or try to make them different. People are who and what they are and we accept or not. Call attention to your perception and then decide your plan of action.

5) Decide if the relationship/friendship is worth your effort. Since you’re relating in different ways, be conscious and ask yourself if it’s worth it. Challenging situations can sometimes be good teachers. But they have limits.

6) Take a cold shower to cut the energetic connection.

7) Do the light meditation. In meditation you’ll become more conscious of your own energy and how you use it. And you’ll become more aware of the subtle energies of others. The ancient light meditation will also help to reinforce your auric energy and protect you.

8) Chant a protective mantra like the Gaytri mantra.

Copyright Debra Moffitt, July 2015.  No part of this blog post may be copied or reused without express written permission of the author.

Debra Moffitt is the award-winning author of three books.

Debra's book,
Debra’s book, “Garden of Bliss” won an IPPY Silver Medal award.
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